Pure, Utter & Complete Frustration

Im so frustrated with myself. I honestly don't even know how else to start this post. Lately, nothing I've done has gone the right way. My grades are still in the shit-hole, and I cant seem to get them back up. All the changes I've been trying to put into effect have been failing miserably. My friends have slowly but surely begun to abandon me. And thats only the beginning of the thoughts I've been thinking lately. I guess I could see how this might seem as if all I'm trying to do is induce self pity and such, and that the only reason I've been writing this blog is to gather attention. But it's really not the case. I promise. If anything, I've been trying to use my blog as a source of motivation, however, due to my lack of consistent posting, that doesn't seem to be working according to plan.
href="http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/255/PreviewComp/SuperStock_255-636.jpg">
I don't know what's wrong with me. I keep finding myself reduced to tears because I've gotten so frustrated and overwhelmed by my surroundings. I'm suddenly more aware of little things my friends have said and done. Precisely the things I'd been trying to rid my life of, have just been coming back stronger than ever! It's come to the point where I really don't know what else to do anymore. I've been trying to write an essay for literally the past 4 or 5 hours. I've gotten nowhere. I feel like such a failure. My stupid arguments with my parents about my grades don't exactly help the situation. I've just been feeling so helpless. So weak. So lame. So pathetic. So done with it all. I just want this to be over. Maybe I need help, who knows? Maybe I need an escape? Again, I don't have that answer. All I know, I must make a change.